In Conversation With: Marian Adejokun
Earlier this year I sat down with Marian Adejokun, founder of ReachOut2All and My Scars Tell A Story to talk about her story, what she's working on, and the way she's using her story to uplift others. I think she is pretty damn incredible, and I hope you do too!
Brianna (TBP)
Okay, so we'll just start a little bit of an introduction. So tell me about yourself. You are obviously, originally from the States whereabouts did you grow up?
Marian
Yeah. So I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. My name is Marian Adejokun. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it. Um, yes, I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. I'm born and raised there. And, yeah, my mom decided that we should move to the UK where she was born. Because she thought that the educational system over here is actually better. She actually went to university in America to study mental health. So yeah, that's literally how the transition took place. It was kind of like a culture shock because the American people were very loud and very upfront, you know what I'm saying? Over here they're very conservative, I would say. So yeah, that was kind of like a learning curve for myself. But yeah, I mean, I wouldn't have been able to meet a lovely person like yourself, I guess, if I didn't come to London! Even though we're meeting virtually, which is pretty cool. And yeah, it's just been Whoa, what a journey I must say - what a journey.
Brianna (TBP)
So how long have you been over here now then?
Marian
Too long! (Laughs) I've actually lost track. I do go back and forth to America anyways, because I do like speaking engagements and things like that. So I kind of go there quite a lot. But yeah, I don't really like it in London, but I have no choice. Make do for the time being.
Brianna (TBP)
So what is it about London that isn't so much for you?
Marian
I think maybe I don't understand the people. I don't know. It's just the environment as well. I think that was another thing for me. Like, oh my gosh,l ike, when I saw trash on the floor? And when I saw a fox I was like, Whoa, what is going on? Like, right in the midst of my space. It was just scary. It was scary. Like, I remember one time my mom called the cops and she was like, yo, there's a fox in our backyard. Y'all need to come and get it. And they're like, "Wait is the fox okay?" So things like that. It's just crazy man - it's so crazy. And then obviously, like when it comes to things like, I have a youth organization and when it comes to things like getting support oh my gosh, it is so hard! So when I saw what you were doing, especially, I was like, yeah, definitely got to reach out and definitely got to support and figure out a way how we can both support each other. So I really salute you with that and what you're doing. Especially on just sharing other people's content is just phenomenal. The amount of stories that I've read, I was like, wow, how do you do it? I don't know.
Brianna (TBP)
I don't know, to be honest!
Marian
It's so hard. Like, you'll be like, share a post comment like it. And it's like, it's going in one ear and out the other for some. But, yeah, I think that's another thing in this country - like to find support is super hard. Like you literally got to pull out your teeth, pull out your hair, before you can get to where you want to get to. And so in America, it's totally different. Because it's like, oh, you're doing this, everybody around you is on it, everybody's ready to support you and do whatever it takes to get there. Community is different. So yeah, I guess it just made me want to persevere even more, and want to, I guess, do the necessary things needed in order to get to where I want to get to. So it's still a long process, but I'm enjoying the journey. Because Yeah, the journey is more important than the destination. That's one of my mottos that I say.
Brianna (TBP)
Because you learn everything on the journey. Like if we just woke up and we were where we wanted to be? We wouldn't know what to do, we'd have no idea what we're doing and we'd have no experience.
Marian
Right? Right.
Brianna (TBP)
It's so funny you say about the fox story because my dad moved here from Nigeria and he said the memory he's got is - I think he said it was Peckham High Street - and he was like, the fuck is that? It's just on the street guys. He was like "That is not a dog."
Marian
It was crazy. And then they said they carry rabies. I was like, whoa. That's a whole nother level man, I tell you. Then obviously I've met Nando's, which is my first love. I love Nando's. Every American loves Nando's.
Brianna (TBP)
Nando's lives in my heart. The things I was missing the most in lockdown was number one, my eyebrow lady and number two, Nando's.
Marian
Definitely! I really got on Tesco and was like, gotta buy my Peri Peri sauce and try to make my Nando's chicken. But yeah it can never be the same!
Brianna (TBP)
My friend actually sent me a tiktok yesterday of a guy that works in Nando's breaking down the recipe of how to make their spicy rice. So I'm making myself some spicy rice and chicken.
Marian
Girl! I think you should, I think you should give it a try for sure.
Brianna (TBP)
So something I would like to know a little bit more about is your kind of experience as a black woman here in the UK versus in America. Because obviously we see a lot of very up front in your face racism from the United States, where here it's a little bit more interwoven in the ground - very like foundations of society. So you're in a kind of good position to kind of compare the two.
Marian
Um, I would say when I left America, I was eight and a half. So I was quite young. And coming over here and growing up, especially in high school, I would say like - I don't if I'd call it racial abuse? Because at that time, I didn't even know. I knew it existed, but I didn't know how it was portrayed. Because I remember like a teacher of mine, she was like "Oh your grades are really bad, you're not working hard enough. And you're definitely not going to make it to university." And I was like, what are you talking about? You know how damaging that is to somebody's self esteem? And I was like, whoa, like, if it was somebody else, they could literally have a mental break down over it. But I was just like, you know what, there's so much I've gone through in my life, I'm not gonna let this teacher pull me down from what it is that I need to do. But now when you see the current things that are going on, when you see and really observe? So I'm passionate about young people. So when you see the way our young people are lashing out and things like that, and one race is being blamed for some problem? Like - there's a reason why they're behaving that way, so what is it? And obviously, they always think, "Oh, yeah, black people are violent, black people are loud, black people are whatever", but they're not really looking at the real issue. They're not looking at "Okay, where's this really coming from? What is the foundation of the issue?"
They're just seeing the surface of things. And so like, we just got to use our voice in order for a change to take place. And we got a long way to go. We thought Martin Luther King did his thing. And Nelson Mandela and all the rest of them. Great icons, but then they die. And we still here. I guess, another thing that I would say, is that working it's all about in unity with each other. Because I know there's like a whole lot of female movement going on, which is phenomenal, and other things like that, but we gotta work together. Yeah, we just got to keep moving. We just got to keep supporting each other. Why can't everybody be happy for everybody where they are and support each other at whatever level they're at. So yeah, I think again, it's just all about unity. That is the word that just keeps coming to my head because I just think it's so important and I honestly believe it makes a big difference to us all. It consists of all the - I guess wellbeing aspects? Your physical wellbeing, emotional, psychological wellbeing, it all benefits when you have unity, when you have people around you. Apart from obviously your family, your friends, but other people like, extended people, even on social media and things like that, it goes a very long way.
Brianna (TBP)
100% agree. 100%. Because that's kind of why I started The Black Project is because when I was like 11/12 I moved down to Sussex. So I came from Croydon, which was super diverse, and I felt that like unity, that feeling a part of something. But um, yeah, when I moved down here, it was a massive shock. Massive shock. Because there was no one else that was like not white. Like it was literally just me. A lot of my like most influential years, I didn't have that sense of community. And I didn't have people to turn to, or look to, or ask advice from. So even in the - when did I start this June I think, or July last year?- in that, like seven months, the community that's been built, I just feel so much better in myself. And I've had other like, younger people reach out to me and say they feel better in themselves knowing that they've met people and can talk to people through this. And it's just amazing.
Marian
Exactly because you feel so much better when you're able to relate to somebody that's going through the same thing as you. And when I saw your page, I'm saying, yes, this is exactly what we need, like, where have you been all this time? So yeah, thank you for creating the platform.
Brianna (TBP)
It's an honor. Honestly, it really is an honor to share positive stories, because we see so much negativity. And of course, I do share that. If it's important to share, I share it. But we need so much positivity for our community. And I wasn't finding any platforms that were doing that. So it really is it's amazing to share their stories and give people a voice. Which additionally, is kind of what you're doing as well, with your my scars campaign.
Marian
Yes!
Brianna (TBP)
So before we get into what the campaign is, are you comfortable sharing a little bit about what happened?
Marian
Yeah, sure. So, um, basically like my whole foundation for all my organisations that I have currently, especially like, my youth organisation with giving young people a voice for their talents and things like that - It started off in 2011. I suffered from a deadly allergy reaction to eyedrops. So it was actually like a one in a million reaction that I had, and it's known as Stevens Johnson syndrome. So what it is, is that it attacks the membrane. So it's like you're burning from inside out. So the reaction is actually taking place from the inside out, if that makes sense. I literally just started off with, I remember very well, I've called my mom from college. I was like, my eyes are itching me. I don't know where it was coming from or anything like that. I literally got home and then I think it was blisters that started coming out from all over my skin. And I was like, wait, this can't be chickenpox because I've already had that. So then my mom's like "Okay, go take a bath, see how everything is and then we'll take it from there." And I did and like literally, my skin was burning, like I dashed water on myself and my skin was burning. So then I called the doctor's office and the doctors say "Okay, just go to the chemist and get over the counter eyedrops." So I went got the eyedrops, my mom put them in, and within 30 minutes, my whole skin started shredding off, like literally from head to toe. My fingernails my toenails, everything was just shredding off. Skin was coming up from under the sole of my feet. I couldn't put my foot down on the ground or anything like that. Or even to go to the bathroom. It was just so horrific. And my pain threshold is very high. So I'm like, it's fine and left it a little bit. Then my airway started closing up. I was like, "Okay, yeah, mom, you need to call the ambulance. Like now." So they rushed me to a nearby hospital near my place. And around that time, that's when swine flu was going on. They thought I had that. So I was like, nah, man, this cannot be swine flu. I don't think these are the symptoms of swine flu. And I remember very well telling my mom's friend - my uncle - I said "Uncle take my picture, this is my testimony." My mom's like no, you'll be out soon you're gonna be fine. I was like, "No, no, no, take my picture." Next thing they put me in an isolation unit. And I started throwing up blood, blood started gushing out my eyes. And again to go to the bathroom was horrible, it was so painful. Yeah, it was that bad. And so thank god for this Asian doctor who came in. He said No, this is not Swine Flu, this is Steven Johnson Syndrome. Next thing, you know, they rushed me to the Royal London Hospital who actually knew what I had and were able to treat it. So I was put in an induced coma for a month - so I didn't leave the hospital until I think it was like towards the end of February, March or so. And um, yeah, because obviously, the media has never heard of such story like that before. And my mom quickly called - I think it was the newspapers or BBC? - I just remember very well, the guy RAN. He literally came to my house, filmed everything and ran. I've never seen someone run like that so fast to get it on the news for six o'clock. But you know, like, from my own perspective, there's obviously a medical perspective to it. And I'm also a Christian. And so from the faith perspective, I remember like, I was laying in the coma, and these two angels came into the room. And so they lift me up to like a desert area place and I saw the light, but I couldn't really see through it. And then I heard God's voice. And he said "Marian, it's not your time to die yet. What I want you to do is to go out into the world, to reach out to the youth and to everyone around you about the goodness in your life." And so yeah, that's where ReachOut2All came to birth. I said, okay, yeah, I can use that as a platform, I have a passion for young people - by profession I'm an early years teacher - so yeah everything just intertwined. So it just worked so well.
And for seven years, I've written to the Queen, I have written to number 10 Downing Street, there is nobody that I've not written to in regards to like, why the youth are killing each other? Why the youth are behaving in this way? Why, why why? And I'm not getting the answers I want. So I'm like you know what, let me do what I gotta do, let me do the best I can do that I know that will be of impact to another person. Because I believe that if you touch one person's life, that person will go on again and touch another person's life and on and on. So yeah I'm just really just using the platform to empower, impact and inspire the youth and obviously, just giving them hope through my story. Because obviously, a lot of youths feel like obviously, oh, what they're going through is going to be like that forever. Or they're depressed or there's anxiety. I was like, y'all ain't seen nothing yet. You want to see my story. And so when they just see the pictures alone, I don't really have to say anything, because that just speaks for itself. Yeah, I remember I was going to Tesco and one little girl that I used to teach at the school she was like "Miss Adejokun! Oh my gosh, I saw your pictures in the newspaper, your skin was falling off!" I was like, okay, yeah, I need to do more, I need to reach out more to young people and just really encourage them, you know, through my story, that they can turn a negative situation really into something positive.
Brianna (TBP)
So what's the response been like to that? Have you had a good response from them all?
Marian
It has been phenomenal. Like literally every single day is like a different story. And the thing that I like about it is that obviously I can use it in different aspects. I can use it with younger children, I can use it with children in high school, even with adults like it doesn't even matter what age they are. Just being able to feel uplifted by hearing somebody else's story and how they went through it. That's why I said earlier that the journey is more important than the destination. Because a lot of people always focus on for example, I just want to graduate. But you got to go through the process in order to graduate and that's what they forget. And so I honestly believe that every mess that you go through can turn into a message and every test that you go through, can turn into a testimony. So any bad situation, you can literally turn it around for good and use it to be of encouragement to another person that may be going through what you've already gone through.
Brianna (TBP)
That's amazing. It is. Because I know you're saying it like it's such an easy thing to do. But it takes a huge amount of strength and courage, to be able to use something that must have been quite traumatic for you to help. That's hugely inspiring.
Marian
Thank you so much.
Brianna (TBP)
You're welcome. So let's talk a little bit about the my scars campaign. Because I think it's an amazing thing that you're doing and it kind of comes into this thing that I'm so about which is intersectionality. Which is that you want to help the youth and you want to look at mental health but you're also looking at like a disability almost kind of thing or like a self image kind of thing. And it's an amazing thing that you're doing. So let's talk a little bit about that.
Marian
Cool. So with the "My scars tell a story" campaign is so funny how it came about, actually. So a couple of years back uncle of mine actually wrote a part of the party, a poem about me. And um, yeah, it was literally to do with scars. And I was like, wait, I was literally reading the poem that he sent me and I was like, wow. Yeah. My scars tell a story. I started to do my work on it. I started to put everything together and I was like, yeah, it's actually true my scars do tell the story. Because if you look in the media, you don't see people with scars in the media. And if they do have the scars, they actually cover it up, or they want to do surgery to clear the scar. And I was like, why would you want to do that? Another thing that I saw in my research is that obviously, there's not a lot of black and brown people, there's not a lot of Asian representation. So I was like okay, I can use my platform to also see how we can be more represented in that area. And actually, it works in all aspects of life to be honest, not just in a medical factor. But even in the beauty industry, there's not a lot of black or brown skin girls over there as well. And another thing about scars is that it's just part of life, you know, it's part of someone's story, someone's journey, like whether it's good or bad, it is still part of them. And I just wanted to get a whole lot of like, women, men, children, old, young, mainly obviously, black and brown skinned people, for us to showcase our scars, for us to showcase our stories and more. When I started putting everything together and asking people for their stories and their submission, somebody told me, Marian I've never shared my story before. And I've never actually been able to show my scars because I don't have the confidence to do that. Oh, my gosh, you know how shocking that was? I actually didn't know the impact that my campaign would actually have on another person. I was like "Yeah, just show your scars, take a picture, tell a story." I didn't think of it in the psychological aspect of things. So I'm like, I still need to do more homework. So I literally started like, writing to the NHS, they started contacting me and asking what can we do to ensure that black and brown skinned people are represented better in our medical sector. And then I took it to Dove and took it to Glamour, I was like, I will continue writing to these people until they get back to me. So for the time being, I'm just using my social media platform to push the word out there. Last year, it got really good views on the site, which is really good. Because obviously, I was just starting it to just make an awareness of the campaign. And everybody was on board, which is great. And so now I want to expand it by bringing onboard many other people to again, build up their self esteem, build up their body confidence, body positivity, and just show their stories as well as my own. So I think that's really important. And also like breaking social media stereotypes. Also, another important aspect that one can look into.
Brianna (TBP)
I was literally just going to say. It's an incredible like dichotomy of, you're using social media, which so often kills peoples self esteem, because they're looking at these, like, super airbrushed, super photoshopped, like, paid $10,000 for plastic surgery bodies. And they're like, why don't I look like that. And you're doing the complete opposite and saying, your body as it is, is incredible. And it's the one you've got, it got you here and it's gonna be with you your whole life.
Marian
That's right. Like, it's just so powerful. Like I've seen, I've seen a whole lot of keloid scars, I didn't know what a keloid was, until I started my page. Like you're growing, you're learning to know about various types of skin conditions that I've never heard of. Apart from obviously, what I went through. I was just like, wow, I never ever thought that it's going to be this impactful. And I'm just so grateful for the people that I have on board that are able to support me, to hear my voice, and to get the word out there, which is really important. So thank you so much.
Brianna (TBP)
So are you still looking for people to come on board? Is there ways that people can contact you?
Marian
Definitely. So myscars2020 is the Instagram page, they can go on there. They can DM me, they can send me an email. And mainly I have a whole lot of women and I'm looking for guys who have scars. Please, if you are guy, and you have a scar, yeah, come on board. We need more men as well to represent, you know I get a lot of women with scars. I was like, okay, yeah, that's great. But where are the men - I don't see any. Where are the children - I don't see any. And like elderly people as well, because it's good to have that age range.
Brianna (TBP)
It's also I think, interesting that you say you don't get very many men because I think again, with the like intersectionality thing men can kind of feel almost more shame than women do. I think women find a lot of security when they see another woman going through it and they're like I can talk out and it becomes this like sisterhood. Where almost like with men, they're ashamed to say it, it's like they worry they're going to get ridiculed. So it would be amazing if we could get some men on board.
Marian
It would be! Even just one, I will be so happy. I think it would be great because you just don't know, like, one story can actually change somebody's life. One word from one persons story can actually make a big difference. And that is what I'm learning through the power of my story and sharing it continuously with a lot of people because even though I did go through this ordeal - and it was challenging. I'm not gonna lie, I'm saying as if it was a piece of cake, it was challenging. But I'm the type of person - I was born four months, weighed one pound, I've had loads of surgeries that y'all wouldn't even believe that I had a whole lot of surgeries. But you know, I'm still standing and I have that type of determination and perseverance, obviously, because of my mom. She's just like, Yeah, no, you can do it, you can do it. So I didn't really, you know, consider myself to have low self esteem apart from when I came out the coma. I'm not gonna lie. Mom was like, "You look like Freddy Krueger!" And I did, I looked scary. In the newspapers, I look scary. But when I saw myself in the mirror, I was like, Oh, my gosh, this is how people are gonna see me. I literally, that was isolation for me, and doesn't compare on any level with what we're going through now. Yeah, that was definitely isolation. So I think dealing with that was by me continuing to share my story, through the various ways. Of going to universities, going to schools, going to churches, and on TV and newspaper, radios, and abroad and stuff like that. I was just sharing my story. And obviously, the more you share your story with people, the more you feel, I guess, oh okay, my confidence is building up. I can do it. I guess yeah, the more you feel like you can do it, the more you feel like you don't actually have to hide behind closed doors, thinking that people are gonna judge you because of how you look. Whereas it's actually good therapy to speak. And another thing that I found therapeutic was writing. So I ended up writing two books. So my first book is my life is not my own, which is based on my story. And that was very therapeutic, because I loved writing. So yeah, I was just able to pour out my feelings into the piece of paper, and share it with everyone else. And yeah, it's just been great. So grateful to God, my family, friends and my social media people.
Brianna (TBP)
So I've got a couple more questions. But before I get to them, I just want to touch on real quickly, the ReachOut2All that you do. Is that a online platform? Or is that something that you do in person that people can attend when COVID is done with?
Marian
So ReachOut2All is a community interest company. Normally, we host our youth events physically, but obviously, due to the COVID, we have to put everything online. So we do like annual events. And now we've even started doing monthly workshops. And now we've actually involved a whole lot more young people to engage, obviously, we're aware that they're in school and everything like that. So what we did was in order to make it engaging, and as fun and interactive as possible, we invited like young people to choose a topic that they would like to discuss with other young people invite their friends, and come on zoom for like 30 minutes, every month, to just have their time have their space to breathe, to discuss whatever it is that they want to discuss. And a lot of feedback that we've been receiving in regards to that is that they haven't seen a platform like mine before where it's the young people that are actually leading it initiated the ideas, and actually given that space to actually be heard. They find it really encouraging that someone's actually taken time to listen to what it is that they have to say. And we're actually doing our best to take the necessary steps needed in order to ensure that obviously, the young people's needs are being met, and we're trying to do our best to ensure that a change will take place. So it's just in due time but we are definitely working on it. And yeah, we do a whole lot of different kinds of things. We have like networking workshops. We do like educational tour visits and things like that, obviously, with that one it's been put on hold. But um, yeah, definitely when the pandemics over we're definitely planning to do more of that. We do like mentoring services. And yeah, just anytime a young person wants to communicate with us, we just want them to know that we're there to support them with that, to hear them out with that to guide them. And yeah, just help them to the best way possible. Because it's all about them. It's not even about us. That's what I tell them.
Brianna (TBP)
So what's the social media handles for that? Like what platforms are you on?
Marian
So the Instagram is @ReachOut2All and then the website is reachout2all.co.uk
Brianna (TBP)
Perfect, thank you I will get that signposted, because I have so many young people reach out to me that just say, especially during this pandemic because there's so many of them are just like we just feel like we're not being heard. So I think what you're offering would be amazing for them if I can signpost them over to you.
Marian
Yeah, definitely more than welcome. And we're a registered organization. So that's just to put it out there.
Brianna (TBP)
So the last two questions, and one is a little bit heavy and the other ones about food. So we'll save the food one to last. I've asked everyone that does this. What does being black mean to you?
Marian
Oh, that's something I've never thought before. Um, I would say unique. I guess I would say culture - coming from yeah, I'm American. But my background is Nigerian. And culture is obviously everything. Like, I just love that how, for example, we have respect. There's the way how we compose ourselves when we're communicating with people. And that alone is distinctive, compared to other cultures that are out there. So I think yeah, it's just important for us to know how we identify ourselves. If that makes sense. Yeah, and just enjoy the body that you're in, you know, it's not even about color, not even about black, yellow or white. Just enjoy being you enjoy being who God has created you to be and don't try and be anybody else or be in competition with nobody else. I always say you run your own races, stay in your lane. Do that and you'll be good.
Brianna (TBP)
I struggle with social media a little bit, because it's like, on one hand, it's doing amazing things, your platform is doing amazing things. But on the flip side of that, it kind of counters that thing that you just said of stay in your lane, because people are just obsessing over everyone else and comparing themselves.
Marian
Yeah, you literally have to, it's the thing to do with the mindset. So again, your mindset has to be in the right place. It's about you, again, it leads to purpose. So when you know what your purpose is, you're gonna have something to focus on. And so you won't feel the need to have to be like somebody else out there because you already know who you are. You're unique, you're beautiful, you know, you're blessed, and you're different. You're different for a reason. So when I'm seeing all these girls on social media wanting to look the same, I was like, why isn't anybody unique anymore? Like, I was literally asking my sister this the other day, I was like, 10 years ago, when I was like in high school or so. Nobody wanted to be looking the same. Like everybody was literally unique, like this person had that style and how they do their thing. And now everybody want to be doing the same thing. I was like, there's no originality anymore. Everybody wants to be a copycat. Why can't you be the original copy? Yeah. That's my take on it.
Brianna (TBP)
Last question is because you mentioned culture there and it is, I think, an integral part of all black cultures, food. We love it. We love our food, so what is one recipe that you could not live without?
Marian
That would have to be jollof rice. And my Ghanian people are going to be like, "What did she say?!" Alright, man, Nigerian jollof is the best. But yeah, definitely jollof rice. I love it so much. I love rice anyways, and chicken? Can't go wrong, you just can't.
Brianna (TBP)
You're so right! Well, that is all the questions that I have. Thank you so much for your time.
Marian
Thank you, I really appreciate it. It's a pleasure meeting you. I can't wait to meet in person.
Brianna (TBP)
Me too!
Marian
Bye!